My Plans For 2023

Hello. I hope you are doing well.

I know I probably should have posted this either last week or on the 1st of the month, but if I am one thing it is spontaneous. Also, I had quite a few thoughts on the quarterly system and wanted to talk about that first. This also didn’t come around until after I had already written that post.

Anyway, usually, January is for goals and resolutions. I do have goals for this year, but my approach to everything is going to be a little bit different.

In years past I’ve been focused a lot on the numbers of things and using that as a measure of productivity and feeling really bad when I didn’t accomplish as much as I want. This year my largest focus is going to be on self-love and kindness. I haven’t been making that as high a priority as I should.

So while I have goals, the only real goal I have hard and fast rules for and is actually numbers related is my reading goal. I figured since last year my initial goal was to read 50 books, and I ended up reading more than 100 having a goal of reading 100 would be reasonable. If it proves unreasonable, I can always change that but this is where I am for the moment.

This year for the blog specifically, I want to do some short fiction and writing exercises. My plan for that is to find writing prompts and write either short stories or possibly some flash fiction, and post that at least once a month.

And because I’m wanting to be kinder to myself, Life Logs might be replaced with different posts about what I’ve been doing that week. Especially when spring and summer come along, because I do have plans to have a pretty large garden and that will take up quite a bit of time. I also want to do a lot more sewing this year too, so maybe I’ll do a couple posts about that.

And because of my large reading goal, I thought something that might be fun would be at the end of every month, instead of a monthly wrap-up, I could do a review of all the books I read that month. I don’t really want to post reviews on individual books because I don’t read a lot of new releases. It will be on books I’m trying to ‘catch up’ on if it were. If you’ve been around a while, you know what’s up. If you’re new, hi. I’m dyslexic, and growing up it was super difficult for me to learn to read, so I never really read for pleasure I only did it for school. It wasn’t until I was about 14 or so that I actually found reading easy enough to be pleasurable. So, ten years later, I have a lot of catching up to do. I don’t see it as a bad thing or a burden. I’m happy to do it. Every writer needs to read to get better at their craft, and frankly, I think I would be bored or unmotivated to read if I had a 0 TBR. I know some people strive for that, but I don’t know if I ever could. I would probably stop reading for a while as a backlog piles up for me.

That was a tangent I wasn’t expecting to go off on, but you’re welcome.

Anyway, that’s the plan I have thus far. I have more to talk about why I’m changing things up a bit like this, but that’s going to be another topic for another day.

With that being said, I hope you are having a wonderful day. And if it’s not wonderful, I hope it gets better. Stay safe, and I will see you next time.

-T.R. Flynn.

June 2021 Wrap Up

Hello, I hope you are doing well today. I also hope you are keeping cool. Summer is in full swing where I am, and we keep reaching new record highs. I’m talking 40 plus Celcius. So, not great here. Hope you’re doing better.

So, despite the unrelenting heat, I think I’ve actually gotten a fair amount done this month. I will not feel bad for not getting much done the past few days because it is just so hot right now. But I digress.

So, I did end up dropping ‘Amilia’ earlier this month. I did an entire post about it and my thoughts on dropping projects in general, I will link that here(https://trflynnofficial.wordpress.com/2021/06/04/lets-talk-about-dropping-a-project/) if you are interested. Needless to say, there was nothing, or next too, done with Amilia, and I’m fine with that.

I haven’t put any more ideas for ‘Steampunk 4’ down on paper right now. I think I got the majority of them down, I also haven’t been thinking about that piece too much recently.

I didn’t do anything with the outline for ‘Anti-Hero’, but I did get a few character profiles finished. So there’s something at least.

I did a little bit with the ‘Crows’ outline. Not much, but a few scenes figured out at least.

I did not write any Quest this month. What I have been doing with Side Quest is actually outlining all the Quests I have thus far. I think it’s probably better to have it all outlined first, and I’ve done quite a bit of that so far.

This month I have read 7 books. 6 of which have been audio books, but no shame in that.

The thing that has taken up a lot of my attention this month has been editing SDM. I’ve been trying out a new editing method with this piece, and so far so good to be honest. Once I’ve finished editing this I am planning on making a post about it. So that’s to come.

And that is what I have been up to this month. I know I haven’t gotten really anything done that I wanted to this month. But I am happy that I got a lot done, all things considered.

I am home now. My sister is still waiting for surgery, I believe she is on the waiting list though. My family is just kind of a mess because my dad fell off a ladder and broke his ankle, so I’m trying to help him. The joke is that my family is cursed.

Anyway, that’s all I have for you today. What did you check off your to-do list this month? What’s something you didn’t plan on doing but were happy with the result of? I would love to know if you would like to share.

I hope you are having a wonderful day. And if not, I hope it gets better for you. Stay safe, and cool, and I will see you next time.

-T.R. Flynn.

Let’s Talk About Dropping A Project

Hello. How are you today? I hope you are well.

Today I want to talk about the tough, and sometimes controversial, topic of dropping a project.

This has come to mind because Amilia, a project I have been working on for literal years, I am finally done with. I have no passion for the story or the characters anymore. This is the second time around that I have written and edited the piece, and I’m just done.

I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing for a writer to drop a project if their heart isn’t in it anymore. I believe this because I think writing is a wonderful and fulfilling pastime and career, it can be difficult at times of course. And I will be the first to say it isn’t always fun, but I like to think that I pour my heart and soul into everything I write.

If you’re anything like me, then the idea of dropping a project, especially after you have poured so much of your self and work into it, is unthinkable.

And I think I know what part of the argument is: why would I write a book just to drop it later on?

Firstly, I don’t believe anyone writes a book just to drop it later on. I do believe that some people write in order to learn and experiment with, possibly without the intent of publishing it. And that’s fine. The act of dropping a book comes later.

Secondly, I think dropping a book can be a good learning experience. What better way to get better at ‘killing your darlings’, or so the saying goes, than to drop a project that you poured so much of yourself into?

Is it ever an easy thing to do? Probably not. I’m sure there are some writers out there who get so upset with a piece they just want to throw it out the window. And that’s fine. It’s also completely fine to want to hold on to this project because you’ve put so much work into it.

There is an argument to be had about not being ready to write a particular piece just yet. I know, for at least one book I’ve tried to write, I wasn’t a good enough writer at the time. And if that’s the case, there is nothing wrong with putting the book in a trunk and coming back to it later.

With that being said, I’ve been working on Amilia on and off for about three years. I have put it in the trunk for a while as I figured out outlining, and my own writing process. I’ve come back to it. I’ve written it. I’m currently in the middle of editing it. And I’m so over this project, I’m not sure I can properly put it into words.

But what about all of the time I’ve spent on this project? All the hours? They’re just going to go to waste if I drop the project now.

No it’s not. Amilia is something I will probably always carry with me because it’s the first proper book that I have written. I wrote it without an outline. I learned how fast I can write and I’ve only gotten faster. I’ve learned some rudimentary editing tactics and finagled them a little bit to work better for me and my brain. It taught me that it’s okay to not be ready to write something yet, and that I can always come back to it. The hours that I spent working on Amilia were not wasted. They were invaluable to me at the beginning of my writing journey.

If I hadn’t spent all that time figuring all that out on Amilia, it would have just been another project. It just so happens that it was Amilia. And I’m very happy that it was.

That being said, Amilia doesn’t stand up to what I thought it was in terms of the story. Maybe it was because it was my first novel that I wanted so much more for it, but I’m not sure I want it under my name.

I don’t think it’s ever easy to drop a project. But I do think that it’s necessary sometimes. And I believe that this is one of those times.

Amilia will always hold a place in my heart, and I will always be grateful for what it taught me.

So what are your opinions on dropping a project? What are your criteria for dropping a project? Have you ever dropped a project? I’d love to know if you’d like to share.

I hope you’re having a wonderful day. And if it’s not wonderful, I do hope it gets better for you. Stay safe, and I will see you next time.

-T.R. Flynn.

What’s Going On Right Now

Hi, I hope you’re doing well.

A little bit of a different post from my usual content right now. This is basically going to be me talking about something that’s been going on and why I might be away from the blog and social media for a while here. We will just ignore the fact for a minute that I’m not really active on social media outside of my blog.

I have siblings, I’m the middle of three. My sister, older, has had issues with her back since literally the day she was born. She has spina bifida which has led into her having issues walking and standing, especially for prolonged periods. As well as some other health problems, but they aren’t very relevant to this post. Just know they are annoying but aren’t going to kill her anytime soon.

About two months ago she fell down the stairs in her house to do laundry. She was in copious amounts of pain for a while there and finally allowed her partner to take her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with scoliosis of the spine, in addition to having a fractured(broken) spine.

Now some of you are probably asking how the hell she was not screaming in pain and wanted to go to the hospital immediately. And, to be fair, you probably would.

Because of all of her medical issues, my sister is in constant pain all the time. So a broken back was just another layer of pain she has to deal with. Also, she’s stubborn as all hell. So pain that’s worse than usual is something she’s very used to working through, and usually will.

Now, what does this have to do with me?

Because my sister is in so much pain that she’s having, and admitting to having, issues doing things around the house, in addition to collapsing sometimes, she asked me to come over and help her out as best I can.

I would like to reiterate just how stubborn this woman is. So when she’s admitting to needing help, I am aware of just how much pain she is in. So I have been very anxious to get to her, because she lives quite a distance form me.

And I’m sure some of you are going to ask, why can’t her partner help her?

If he was around all the time, he would. The issue is that he isn’t. He’s a trucker. So he’s around for like a week or two, and then he’s gone for like three months or more at a time. So if she collapses, who else is around to help her out? Or do simple things around the house like cooking or cleaning because it’s stupidly painful for her?

That is why I’m here.

And because I’m here, and not at home where I had a routine and a work zone, I might not be able to get posts up as regularly as I usually like to.

We’re hoping she’s going to be getting into surgery soon, like in the next month. If everything goes well, I’ll be back home by the middle of June. I already have plans that is my sister needs me for longer I will be here for her.

This is the plan if everything goes well.

I’m continuing to try and plug along to get work done. It’s a little hit or miss depending on the day and how much has to get done. It’s also a little trippy because it doesn’t get dark here until like ten pm and it gets light at like five am. I’ll admit it’s messing with me a bit.

Anyway, that’s what’s up with me. I hope you’ll understand if there’s radio silence for the next couple of weeks. I’m okay, just probably busy or really tired. It happens.

So, that’s all I have for you today. I hope you are having a wonderful day. And if it’s not wonderful, I do hope it gets better. Stay safe, and I will see you next time.

-T.R. Flynn.

Asking For Help

One of the things that I’ve struggled with the most in my life is asking people for help. This has been a thing for me all the way back when I was in elementary school. I always felt stupid or incapable compared to my peers for not being able to do something on my own.

In ways that has carried on in my life. I do things on my own so my overworked parents don’t have to do them. Or so they get done. I am so used to doing things on my own that asking for help seems like that I am incapable. That I shouldn’t have even tried to do this thing to begin with.

Earlier this year when Covid19 came to Canada and pretty much everything shut down with people heavily advised to stay home, my depression reared its ugly head the worst it has in years.

My entire life I have suffered from and struggled with anxiety and depression, as I’m sure many of you do, or know someone who does. I managed to get by in life on my own without help from other people. Making my own coping mechanizems and internalizing all the issues I was dealing with. I know, most certainly not the best way to go about these sorts of things, but I was so used to doing things by myself that it was normal for me.

Earlier in the year I had started talking to a counclor to help me better understand my emotions and trauma. And I like to think that it’s made a good amount of progress. But when I was home all day, all the time, hearing nothing but bad news I becan to wonder what the point even was? I knew at that point something had to change, because I was back at a point of wondering what the world would be like if I wasn’t in it. Like somehow my existance is somehow tied to every bad things that has happened in my life time.

I did something that I have always found very difficult. I asked my counclor for help with this. He contacted the hospital in my town because I could not get in to see my family doctor, to see if I could get in to see someone about being on anitdepressants.

It was so strange to explain to all the people why I was there and what I was looking for. But I also didn’t feel like they were judging me for any of, they just wanted to understand. The doctor I was able to get in and see was very nice about ti too and gave me more resources to help if I feel the need to use them.

Since mid April I have been on this medication and I have been feeling wonderful. I’ve been consistently happier, more active, waking up without too much issue, and have been getting more work done every day than even on my most productive days before the medication.

It was difficult and scary for me to ask for this kind of help. It was difficult and scary for me to start talking to my counclor. But it was scarier for me to realize that I was not okay, and that I needed help, and if I didn’t get it I probably wouldn’t be able to keep going.

I’m putting this out there, not to garnish sympathy for myself, but to make a point to people out there, it’s okay to ask for help. Be it in school, or at work, or in life in general. The people who patronize you, or make you feel small for not understanding things are trying to cover their own insicurity by making you feel that way. There is no one who can help you if you don’t ask for it.

And to take away that stigma about putting artists on medication takes away their creativity, it doesn’t. I’m just as creative now as I was before. The only difference is I can sit down, get work done, and not feel like I have to hate myself into doing it.

It doesn’t mean you’re weak if you need to ask for help. It doesn’t make you any less if you need to ask for help. it doesn’t make you incompitent to ask for help. Asking for help just means you need help. That’s it. And the more people who understand this means the less of this idea there is.

Maybe I’m the only one who’s ever felt this way. Maybe everyone has felt this at some or multipul times during their lives. I don’t know. What I do know is this has been affecting my life so horribly for too long. And I wanted to let anyone out there who might be feeling the same or a similar way that it’s okay. And that you aren’t alone.

It’s not a crime to ask for help.

And with that, I think I have been long winded enough. So, that’s all I have for you today. Sorry I missed last week, it happens.

I hope you are having a wonderful day, and if it’s not wonderful, I hope it gets better. I will see you next time.

-T.R. Flynn.